Hows my

[craig7501]

About me page? can someone take a look and let me know and if you've got any idea's on changing it I'll be happy to take into consideration. Thanks

[JaBek1]

I would probably try to eliminate some of the "I's" in your wording and you might consider putting it in more of a narrative rather than a string of individual sentences.

You might also consider putting you terms down in a standardized outline form such as:

Payment Types Accepted
Google Checkout
PayPal
Check
Cash
Shipping
Where: Domestic/International
How Long to Ship
Method Used
Combined Shipping: Yes/No
Disclaimers
Customer pays duties, taxes etc
"Void where prohibited by law"
etc, etc.
Refund & Return Policies
Satisfaction or Your Money Back etc.

I think you get the idea of what I'm talking about, right, Craig?

And always have your wife or someone proof read your text for grammar, spelling errors and just plain readability. The times I've failed to have the wife do it I've ended up having to revise because of simple errors that could have been avoided.

Hope some of this helps, Craig. Of course, it's all just my opinion.

Dennis

[craig7501]

Thanks for the info Dennis, taken into consideration I shall now go ahead and re-change the about me page and put it some of the information that you have suggested.

[JaBek1]

You're welcome, Craig.
Dennis

[lejoueurdepipeau]

I'm not your wife Craig - but you do have a couple of typos in there - Prefered should be preferred and you have aswell instead of as well

[deltadelta48]

I agree w/ Dennis, condense the shipping info to centered list. This will simplify info, and concentrate on keeping it upbeat. Don't say "I don't accept returns unless,,,", instead say "Returns accepted, call me first".

Term you are looking for is "business days" as in "I only ship on business days" which is when PO is open.

Expand first paragraph a bit, it says only that you are honest (aren't we all, eh?). Giving your selling history is always reassuring for buyers. And, I haven't a clue what you sell from your info page! Here is where you can include a plug for your goodies..

As Dennis pointed out, business writing excludes "I" especially at beginning of sentences. "I am an honest seller" would read better as "An honest seller, I have sold vintage gizmos to religious institutions for 20 years."

As Dennis said, always have a dependable woman spell check and grammar check it for you too.

[TreasuredBargains]

As of today, I think your About Me page has a good, friendly feel with all the necessary info.

I'm not sure about the others' comments re "I" but maybe you have since changed that? When I was at secretarial college, we were taught to use the term "we" rather than "I" to make the business seem bigger and more important but I prefer "I" for Ebid to seem friendlier and more personal.

Still a few typos:
4th para should have comma after "When paying" (otherwise it looks like you're paying the customer!) and maybe take out "I have" from that same sentence. "beforehand" is one word.
5th para: technically, "either" should only be used for one of two choices so you could omit that before the payment methods.
6th para: "upto" needs a space. You could either correct the "aswell" or leave it out completely because you have "also" in the same sentence meaning the same thing. (You have "also" and "as well" in the same sentence at the beginning of that para, but I would take that as emphasis which you could leave as is.) You could leave out "to deliver" at the end of the sentence which starts with "Delivery".
Final para: you don't need "the" before Recorded Delivery.

Sorry you asked now?

[craig7501]

Ok thanks peeps your more than welcome to copy and paste, my about me page and play around with it for me then pm it back to me to checkout before i re-alter it.

[bykimbo]

Ok thanks peeps your more than welcome to copy and paste, my about me page and play around with it for me then pm it back to me to checkout before i re-alter it.

How much do you pay for that sort of editing and proof-reading?

[JaBek1]

How much do you pay for that sort of editing and proof-reading?

That's why I draft my wife for the job.
Dennis