step families!!!!

[hutchieslady]

Does any1 find the whole situation of these extended familys realy tire u out?
My hubbie has an 11yr daughter from his previous marriage, the ex lives 320miles away with the daughter and the original set up was that we had her twice a month/shared with his mother.
But to start off with his mother was having her every weekend so the mother could go out partying and weekends away. We managed to get this sorted and now we just have her every other weekend but the thing is he also has a step daughter who is 17, n she comes down everyweek end 2 stay with her boyfriend she manages 2 get the train here n home again without any help, but as soon as my hubbie has 2 take his daughter back half way 2 meet her mother the 17yr old all of a sudden cant get on the train. The thing is he is always saying we should act like a family when she is down,my 2yr old worships the ground she walks on. And realy a weekend isnt enough time 2 do it all, so when its time 2 drop her off half way n the stepdaughter wants a lift back up 2, my daughter n i seem to get left out n the cold,this 17 year old knows exactly wat shes doing, she sees her real dad every weekend 2 and her mothers boyfriend cant do enough 4 her either and my hubbie says he cant just disown her as he was there 4 her 4 10yrs, im not sugesting he does but shes a big girl now n can take care of her self.
Am i just being selfish n jealous or am i right 2 feel the way i do?
I mean 5 of us cant fit n the car (little 1 still in child seat)
He doesnt hear 4rm the 17yr old unless she wants something!!!

[buttons-and-bows]

Believe me if anything happens to those two children you will be devistated, dont be to sure they can look after their selves, take it from one who knows. I won't see my stepson this Christmas in fact i won't ever see him again.

[herbalbrew]

Does any1 find the whole situation of these extended familys realy tire u out?

this 17 year old knows exactly wat shes doing.

He doesnt hear 4rm the 17yr old unless she wants something!!!

Aggh you are taking me back to my tormented teenage years.

Luckily for me, in those days, I lived with my dad. It annoyed my father's wife to be (officially not a stepmother until own mother dies) as she wanted to move into the house with her kids.

We still have a frosty relationship with her trying oneupmanship.. I grew up, she hasn't

[hutchieslady]

sorry to hear that bow.
The thing is i went through it 2 as a teenager, but trust me i wasnt like that i had my own place by 16 and started a full time job at the age of 15.
It just winds me up that the only time the 17 gets in touch is wen she wants money or something else. The worst thing is her real father is rolling in dosh and so is this new man her mother is living with, it just means that wen my hubbie caves into her, we go without n he cant see that, my little 1 was supossed to get her new nursery uniform today n i couldnt get it cause wen he came home last nite 4rm dropping them both of he tolkd me he gave her £40, wat the hell for??? She gets paid 4 going to school,her father gives her £30 a week pocket money n her mother also gives her money! URGH!!!!Teenagers

[madelaine]

Sounds as if it is time for some really straight talking between you and your husband!

[hutchieslady]

Hes a man if im lucky it goes in 1 ear n out the other. I can see his point he spent 10yrs brining the kids up, im not asking him 2 turn his back on her, but hello wake up n smell the coffee. He too soft 4 his own good.
The worst thing is the ex at every oppertunity tells him he a crap father n he believes her i suposse after 10yrs u do start 2 believe. But the thing is he aint.
Has any1 else got probs

[Cocksparrer]

LOL dont do step families, got a step dad but dont see his family at all. Have enough trying to keep up with our family as it is.

[lottie2005]

It must be very difficult for you and i think you need to sit down and talk to hubster about it.Your step daughter may seem grown up but emotionally she still pretty immature.It is a very delicate situation.Your step kids still need their dad but so does your wee one.It is very important no one misses out.
My mother remarried when i was 7 and had my sister.I was made to feel the odd one out and still are as,are my kids.Even now its my mum stepdad,my sister and her kids. My step father doesnt acknowledge my kids as grandchildren and very much influences my mothers opinions.When my sister had her eldest daughter,i overheard my mother tell an extended family member that they were grandparents for the first time.Please note my eldest daughter was five and i had just lost a little boy prematurely to pre eclampsia.Even now my mother sees my kids proberly three times per year,whilst spending all her time with my sister and her kids.My mother only lives 5 miles down the road from me by the way.

[hutchieslady]

The old saying couldnt be any more truthful.
You can pick your friends but family is picked for you.
Great eh?
This life is hard enough without family members adding to it!!!

[Cocksparrer]

The old saying couldnt be any more truthful.
You can pick your friends but family is picked for you.
Great eh?
This life is hard enough without family members adding to it!!!

LOL tell me about it, families are hard work