Tescos joke
One day, leaning on the bar, Jack says to Mike
>"My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a Doctor!"
>"Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike replies. "There's
>a new diagnostic computer at Tesco Pharmacy. Just give it a urine sample
>and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it. It
>takes ten seconds and only costs five quid.....a lot quicker and better
>than a doctor and you
>get Clubcard points".
>
>So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco.
>He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the urine
>sample.
>He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the
>computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm
>water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks".
>
>That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began
>wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a
>stool sample from his
>dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter and the cat, and masturbated
>into the mixture for good measure. Jack hurried back
>to Tesco, eager to check what would happen. He deposits five pounds, pours
>in his concoction, and awaits the results.
>
>The computer printed the following:
>
>1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
>2) Your cat's having kittens. Get a vet
>3) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
>4) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
>5) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
>6) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
>better........
>
>Thank you for shopping at Tesco
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