"A True Scotsman"

[paintinglemonjane]

This for awe us scots that like good laff at wursells.



You know your a true scot if...................
1. Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, Sauchiehall St, St Enoch, Auchtermuchty and Aufurfuksake.
2. Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie.
3. Yer used tae four seasons in wan day.
4. Ye canna pass a chip/kebab shop withoot sleverin when yer blootert.
5. Ye kin fall about pished withoot spilling yer drink.
6. Ye see people wearin shell suits with burberry accessories - pure class!
7. Ye measure distance in minutes.
8. Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like him, in yer ain family.
9. Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think it is like gaun tae the ocean.
10. Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds.
11. Ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating it.
12. Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day date.
13. You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the Church/Chapel.
14. Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas,kebabs, fish n chips, iron-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop.
15. Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.
16. Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure.
17. Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae dae sums.
18. Ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer pals .
19. Finally, you are 100% Scot if you have ever said/heard these words;
how's it hingin
clatty
boggin
cludgie
pished
get it up ye
wee beasties
erse bandit
amurny
away an bile yer heid
peely-wally
humphey backit
Ba'-heid
baw bag
dubble nugget

And finally......
A wee Glesga wumman goes intae a butchershop, where the butcher has just came oot the freezer, and is standing haunds ahint his back, with his erse aimed at an electric fire.The wee wumman checks oot the display case then asks,"Is that yer Ayrshire bacon?" "Naw," replies the butcher. "It's jist ma haun's ah'm heatin'.

[mogmog2005]

I can do number 5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[paintinglemonjane]

I can do number 5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hee! Hee! We females have go that one down toi a fine art

[mogmog2005]

oh yes and im out on a girlie nite on weds so i will probably be putting it into practice!!!!!!

[bjt1964]

True Scotsman here.

Anyone wanna see under me kilt

[paintinglemonjane]

True Scotsman here.

Anyone wanna see under me kilt

Eh! Naw

[slinkyri]

DH thoroughly enjoyed that Helen

I started to speak and before long he'd left his seat..... stopped watching a Peter Kaye performance on tv and was all eyes reading it and grinning

Thankyou!

[IanSF]

This for awe us scots that like good laff at wursells.

You know your a true scot if...................
9. Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think it is like gaun tae the ocean.

Ah once went tae Salcoats on ma holidays.

[pheasantplukka]

I can do number 5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

me too, when pushed

[fairywishes]

Geeze im half scottish and half irish ( though more irish if we pull the threads of my heritage lol ) and i cant do no. 5 when im sat down never mind on the move.

Im a rubbish drunk! lol

But i can do a blinding scottish or irish accent