"madhatter's Joke Of The Day"

[madhatter1]

ikea go to deebags moan site and me post for a laugh

[madhatter1]

Darla's Doctor's Visit
A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor.

The doctor says, "Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?"

The mother says, "It's my daughter Darla. She keeps getting these cravings, she's putting on weight, and is sick most mornings."

The doctor gives Darla a good examination, then turns to the mother and says, "Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but your Darla is pregnant - about 4 months, would be my guess."

The mother says, "Pregnant?! She can't be, she has never ever been left alone with a man! Have you, Darla?"

Darla says, "No mother! I've never even kissed a man!"

The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out of it.

About five minutes pass and finally the mother says, "Is there something wrong out there doctor?"

The doctor replies, "No, not really, it's just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill. I'll be darned if I'm going to miss it this time!"

[madhatter1]

The Garden of Eden
A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.

"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British."

"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French."

"No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. Clearly, they are Russian."

[madelaine]

LOL....... (dots so my post is long enough)

[madhatter1]

mornin alison.......

[MyHeartsMyFlowers]

mornin alison.......

Morning! First offering of the day...

After just a few years of marriage filled with constant arguments,
a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counselling.

They had been at each other's throats for some time and felt that this was their last straw.

When they arrived at the counsellor's office, the counsellor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion.

"What seems to be the problem?"

The wife began talking 90 miles an hour describing all the wrongs
within their marriage.

After 15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counsellor went over
to her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately for
several minutes, and sat her back down.

Afterwards, the wife sat there speechless.

He looked over at the husband who was staring in disbelief at what had happened.

The counsellor spoke to the husband, "Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!"

The husband scratched his head and replied, "I can have her here on Tuesdays and Thursdays."

And this bit is not a real joke but it is funny - I'm late on the boards today because I was having my nails done. My husband dropped me off and then I met him afterwards and he said "She's made a nice job of your hair." Sad but true...

[madhatter1]

Morning! First offering of the day...

After just a few years of marriage filled with constant arguments,
a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counselling.

They had been at each other's throats for some time and felt that this was their last straw.

When they arrived at the counsellor's office, the counsellor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion.

"What seems to be the problem?"

The wife began talking 90 miles an hour describing all the wrongs
within their marriage.

After 15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counsellor went over
to her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately for
several minutes, and sat her back down.

Afterwards, the wife sat there speechless.

He looked over at the husband who was staring in disbelief at what had happened.

The counsellor spoke to the husband, "Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!"

The husband scratched his head and replied, "I can have her here on Tuesdays and Thursdays."

And this bit is not a real joke but it is funny - I'm late on the boards today because I was having my nails done. My husband dropped me off and then I met him afterwards and he said "She's made a nice job of your hair." Sad but true...

Gotta have mine done I think(not before time me-thinks)

[bjt1964]

Morning! First offering of the day...

After just a few years of marriage filled with constant arguments,
a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counselling.

They had been at each other's throats for some time and felt that this was their last straw.

When they arrived at the counsellor's office, the counsellor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion.

"What seems to be the problem?"

The wife began talking 90 miles an hour describing all the wrongs
within their marriage.

After 15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counsellor went over
to her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately for
several minutes, and sat her back down.

Afterwards, the wife sat there speechless.

He looked over at the husband who was staring in disbelief at what had happened.

The counsellor spoke to the husband, "Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!"

The husband scratched his head and replied, "I can have her here on Tuesdays and Thursdays."

And this bit is not a real joke but it is funny - I'm late on the boards today because I was having my nails done. My husband dropped me off and then I met him afterwards and he said "She's made a nice job of your hair." Sad but true...

And women always accuse us guys of not noticing anything

[madhatter1]

And women always accuse us guys of not noticing anything

OOOH! PICCY'S OF CONCORD in your sig.

[MyHeartsMyFlowers]

I've seen Concorde from up close - I was on a plane taxi-ing (spelling??) to take off and we went right along side one - it was so small.

Getting my hair cut next week and will be driving myself there and back - I'll be saying nothing - got to keep him on his toes LOL!