When a Joke IS NOT Funny............

[chiquita]

Well, here it is...my first moan on KT. I hate people who pull stupid jokes that just are NOT funny! I am a peace loving person, very quiet and laid back, but I've just had strong words with the OH. Why?? I'll tell you. I cannot believe he really did this..... I am petrified of spiders, always have been. HE KNOWS THIS. I was in the kitchen when the OH calls me, says there is an e-mail that needs answering urgently, would I do it now? So, I go to the computer and proceed to log-in to my mail. Hubby appears behind me, reaches over and lifts my hand off the mouse.....to reveal a ruddy great dead spider laying on it! I jump, I scream....he says "It's dead!" Thought it funny that I didn't notice it. I HAD MY HAND ON THE BLUDDY THING!!! HOW CAN THAT BE FUNNY??? I felt sick and faint, and he laughed!! Bleedin' moron! Well, I lost it...called him a few juicy's, and now it's very quiet here................
Does anyone else on here pull stupid stunts like that??????

[funky_fudge_factory]

oh yes.

I know this is ridiculous, but I don't like bogies, snot, phlegm, that general nasal area of excretion And EVERY damned time my OH picks his bluddy nose he can't resist chasing me around the house with it on the end of his finger with the sole intent of making me eat it... urgh, I'm gunna be sick just thinking about it git He has been trying to train our 4 year old to do the same as well.... here ya go mum, got a right big bogie for you



how sweet

[CrackersUK]

Oh Yes

But then my Mrs tries to get me back , and it goes on and

on.

[chiquita]

oh yes.

I know this is ridiculous, but I don't like bogies, snot, phlegm, that general nasal area of excretion And EVERY damned time my OH picks his bluddy nose he can't resist chasing me around the house with it on the end of his finger with the sole intent of making me eat it... urgh, I'm gunna be sick just thinking about it git He has been trying to train our 4 year old to do the same as well.... here ya go mum, got a right big bogie for you



how sweet

Oh my God! You poor thing! If my OH chased me with a boogie on his finger, I think I'd clout him with a frying pan!! You'll have to try and think of something he doesn't like...get revenge Gal!

[funky_fudge_factory]

Oh I have tried - he is far too cool Pretends nothing winds him up... although he doesn't like his nips being flicked pmsl !! He dropped his razor once and it clipped his nip - blood everywhere and it has given him grief every since !! lmao I am so evil... think I will go and flick him as I am thinking about it at the mo (i am evil)

[chiquita]

ROFL....Go for it Gal! PMSL!!!

[funky_fudge_factory]

I am just waiting for him to sit still Think I will go and play tetris for a minute lol !!

[emma5721]

awful them practical jokes aint they.........

[blufairy]

oh yes.

I know this is ridiculous, but I don't like bogies, snot, phlegm, that general nasal area of excretion And EVERY damned time my OH picks his bluddy nose he can't resist chasing me around the house with it on the end of his finger with the sole intent of making me eat it... urgh, I'm gunna be sick just thinking about it git He has been trying to train our 4 year old to do the same as well.... here ya go mum, got a right big bogie for you



how sweet

OH MYYYYYYYY GODDDDDDDDDD

IS THAT THE SECRECT INGREDIENT IN YOUR FUDGE MEL ?

LMAO.

I HATE SNOT TOO. * cries *

Me and 2 of my aunts are CONVINCED that you can smell snotty people too. * barf *
Infact nowt more nausiating than the children you see with HUGE BOGEY hanging out , touching top lip.

My mum banned 1 friend from my house when i was young cus of said bogies. * BARF *

IF dennis did that to me id f'n castrate him mel, you must be a saint. lol


My eldest is not scared of spiders so she always throws them out. But the other day she picked one up and brought it in and was dangling it ................. GRRRRRRRRRRR

VARIOUS unsavoury words later she put it outside.

Im not overly scared of them. But they run toooooooooo fast. lol

[funky_fudge_factory]

OH MYYYYYYYY GODDDDDDDDDD

IS THAT THE SECRECT INGREDIENT IN YOUR FUDGE MEL ?

LMAO.

I HATE SNOT TOO. * cries *

Me and 2 of my aunts are CONVINCED that you can smell snotty people too. * barf *
Infact nowt more nausiating than the children you see with HUGE BOGEY hanging out , touching top lip.

My mum banned 1 friend from my house when i was young cus of said bogies. * BARF *

IF dennis did that to me id f'n castrate him mel, you must be a saint. lol


My eldest is not scared of spiders so she always throws them out. But the other day she picked one up and brought it in and was dangling it ................. GRRRRRRRRRRR

VARIOUS unsavoury words later she put it outside.

Im not overly scared of them. But they run toooooooooo fast. lol

urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh noooooooooooooo don't mention the top lip licky snotty children thing.... bleeeeurghhhhhhh

no no no no no no don't like snot.


Chiquita - you might want to look away at this bit........

so me and hubby are in bed watching a DVD late at night.... lights off, quite scary filum, all moody and that... we hear this scratching noise... look at each other "was that you?" ... nope, not me... carry on watching the filum... scratchy noise again.. mutes the TV... what the hell is it??... can't hear anything. Everytime one of use fidgets it starts again.... hubby declares "sounds like a bluddy mouse"... oh yeah, you know I jump up and down on top of the bed doing the "kill it, kill it" dance butt nekkid (it ain't pretty)... SO..... we have got all manner of rubbish under the bed, behind the headboard etc... so Steve starts pulling stuff out from under the bed waiting for a mouse to run out... I'm now in the ceiling holding on by my fingernails.... still nothing... then the scratchy noise again... he goes in the bedroom adjoining ours to see if he can find anything..... nope... nuthin.... behind the headboard are 2 of those HUGE cardboard santa sacks that we use at crimble, I get brave and pull them out and then dive back on the bed again... then the scratching comes from one of the santa sacks.... and to quote an elaine-ism I almost shat me whack... I started screaming (little un is still asleep in next room).. and I am pointing to the santa sack whilst screaming hysterically it's in there !!! it's in there!! scratchy noise mouse man is in there !!!!

so Steve prods it...... nothin

He shakes it.... nothin

He tips it upside down (he is now ready to shat is whack as well BTW)... and out scurries..... the biggest effin spider I have seen in the house. A bleedin spider !! Our bedroom looks like it has been the detination point for several hand grenades, and it was a spider not bothered about spiders usually, but spidermouse freaked me out BIG time

Bleddy thing