~~what i want in a man~~~~~

[emma5721]

lol someone just sent me this giggled...

no 2 age 42 is my fave lol
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> What I Want in a Man, Original List:
> 1. Handsome
> 2. Charming
> 3. Financially successful
> 4. A caring listener
> 5. Witty
> 6. In good shape
> 7. Dresses with style
> 8. Appreciates finer thing
> 9. Full of thoughtful surprises
> 10. An imaginative, romantic lover
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>
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> What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)
>
> 1. Nice looking
> 2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
> 3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
> 4. Listens more than talks
> 5. Laughs at my jokes
> 6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
> 7. Owns atl east one tie
> 8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
> 9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
> 10. Seeks romance at least once a week
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> What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)
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> 1. Not too ugly
> 2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
> 3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
> 4. Nods head when I'm talking
> 5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
> 6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
> 7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
> 8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
> 9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
> 10. Shaves most weekends
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> What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)
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> 1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
> 2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
> 3. Doesn't borrow money too often
> 4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
> 5. Doesn't retell the same joke too many times
> 6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
> 7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
> 8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
> 9. Remembers your name on occasion
> 10. Shaves some weekends
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> What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)
> 1. Doesn't scare small children
> 2. Remembers where bathroom is
> 3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
> 4. Only snores lightly when asleep
> 5. Remembers why he's laughing
> 6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
> 7. Usually wears some clothes
> 8. Likes soft foods
> 9. Remembers where he left his teeth
> 10. Remembers that it's the weekend< BR>
>
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> What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)
>
> 1. Breathing
> 2. Doesn't miss the toilet.

[blufairy]

ROFLMAO That is EXCELLENT Em

Not sure where my wants come in though ... seem to be evenly spread throughout the ages. lol

[emma5721]

ROFLMAO That is EXCELLENT Em

Not sure where my wants come in though ... seem to be evenly spread throughout the ages. lol

ROFL
yeah mine too i suppose, you got a point there

[traceymole]

lol


want 32, would settle for 42, more likely to get 72

[slinkyri]

brilliant innit.... I printed it out this mornin off of t'other side

[Hexeri67]

Hi all,
My sister emailed this to me and I would like to pass it on.

The Honest Job Application

This reportedly is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida...and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg B. (Name withheld to protect the guilty)

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: I hated it

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.