Clean Humor Thread

[Anniemcc2]

[pamelajonesart]

Thanks for the chuckles!

[sucadot]

I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.

Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.

If all is not lost, where is it?

It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.

I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway through.

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip round the sun.

The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).

An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere.

Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.

[sucadot]

[sucadot]

[Posbear]

[Oldandintheway]

Blonde Payment Plan.

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive
double-panel energy efficient kind, and today, I got a call from the
contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had
been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn't paid for them.
Hellllloooooo just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid.

So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year,
that in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves!

Hellllooooooo? It's been a year! I told him.

There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just
hung up. He never called back. I bet he felt like an idiot!!

[Anniemcc2]

[Posbear]

[sucadot]