Clean Humor Thread

[RatDog]

Finally, the good-natured boss was compelled to call Smith into his office.

"It has not escaped my attention," he pointed out, "that every time
there's a home game at the stadium, you have to take your aunt to the doctor."

"You know you're right, sir," exclaimed Smith, " You don't suppose she's faking, do you?"

[RatDog]

[squern]

Had a narrow escape this afternoon.

I was ironing the bedroom curtains, slipped, and nearly fell out the window.

[RatDog]

One day my two sons were having an argument.

I listened in and overheard the older say to the younger:
"Even if you were an only child, you still wouldn't be
Mom and Dad's favorite."

[RatDog]

[squern]

When you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.

[Anniemcc2]

Victor Borge:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtDX1Vl-Jxk

Always good for a giggle

[meebo1]

I love him. Thank you for the reminder

[Armstrongs]

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen
mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and
gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only
here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my
testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate
from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment
and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles
gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them,
Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says
very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen
very, very closely:

Are - my - test - results - back?"

[RatDog]

The wife was very disappointed and quite upset over me forgetting her birthday .

My response ?
" How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you
never look any older ? "