Clean Humor Thread

[FalonTowers]

When you only shower periodically.

[Mandart]

A young girl started work in the village chemist shop.
She was very shy about having to sell condoms to the public.


The owner was going on holiday for a couple of days & asked if she would be willing to run the shop on her own.
She had to confide in him her worries about selling the contraceptives.
"Look," he said. "My regular customers don't ask for condoms, they'll ask for a 310 [small] a 320[medium] or a 330[large].
The word condom won t even be used.'


The first day was fine but on the second day a guy came in to the shop, put out his hand and said "350".
The girl panicked.
She phoned the owner on his mobile and told him of her predicament.


"Go back in and check if he has a yellow bucket hanging between his legs" her boss told her.
She peeped through the door and saw the yellow bucket hanging between his legs. "Yes !" she said "He's got one hanging there"!

The boss said "Go back in & give him £3-50...................
He’s the window cleaner

[booksntings]

Nadine Dorries is known for some very bizzare out pourings. Anagram of her name

Inane disorder says it all

[FalonTowers]

[FalonTowers]

Charley, a new retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp-minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their "Older Person Friendly" policies.
One day the boss called him into the office for a talk. "Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang-up job when you finally get here; but your being
late so often is quite bothersome."
"Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it."
"Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear".
"Yes sir, I understand your concern and I will try harder".
Seeming puzzled, the manager went on to comment, "I know you're retired from the Armed Forces. What did they say to you
there if you showed up in the morning late so often?"
The old man looked down at the floor, then smiled. He chuckled quietly, then said with a grin, "They usually saluted and said,
Good morning, Admiral, can I get your coffee, sir"?

[booksntings]

[FalonTowers]

[booksntings]

Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Six.”
Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven!”
Teacher: “Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”
Johnny: “Because I’ve already got a cat!”

[Mandart]

[Mandart]