Clean Humor Thread

[Policequilts]

@Tropical-Trish

Quick feed that parrot some Nuts

[Tropical_Trish]

[Mandart]

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica ? Where do they go? Wonder no more ! ! !



It's a known fact that penguins are very ritualistic birds which live an extremely ordered and complex life.The penguin is committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.



If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.



The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."



You really didn't believe that I know anything about penguins, did you...

[Tropical_Trish]

I know someone who does know about penguins .....
... cueing cheaver!

[Posbear]

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter!
Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!
We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up!
Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!'

The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?' The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'

[FalonTowers]

Went to a cake shop the other day, all the cakes were £1, except one which was £1.50.

I said to the owner, why are all the cakes £1, but that one is £1.50.

He said, that's Madeira cake

[FalonTowers]

[tony41]

I see a bird.

[FalonTowers]

I see a bird.

That might mean your are bird brained lol

[Mandart]