Clean Humor Thread

[sucadot]

I was playing a quiet game of Scrabble with a friend
and he's a very sore loser. He was losing so badly, that he got extremely angry, picked up the bag and started throwing words beginning with 'th' at me.

I managed to dodge this, there and then. But I did not see that coming.

[cheaver]

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One day at the church -

By the time the morning service was about to begin, there was only one man in the church.

The priest said to him "It looks like everyone has slept in. Do you want to go home, or should I preach the sermon?"

The man replied "When I go to feed the chickens and only one comes, I still feed it."

The priest took that as a yes, mounted the pulpit and delivered an hour long sermon.

At the end, he asked the man, what he thought.

The man replied "When I go to feed the chickens, and only one comes, I don't give it the whole bucket!"


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[Mandart]

Food for thought....

[cheaver]

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A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes.

The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they asked him what happened.

The Pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn't talk for more than 8 minutes. The second Sunday his gums hurt too much to talk for more than 10 minutes. But, the third Sunday, he put his wife's' teeth in by mistake and he couldn't shut up.


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[Mandart]

More food for thought...

[cheaver]

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Words of wisdom: “There’s a fine line between a long, drawn-out sermon and a hostage situation.”


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[sucadot]

A politician goes to a far-flung village and asks what the problems in the community are.

"There are two problems here, Sir," one of the villagers say. "The first problem is that we have a clinic but no doctor."

Upon hearing this, the politician gets his cellphone and talks to someone. After the call, he announces, "Don't worry. Tomorrow, a doctor will arrive."

"Now, what's the second problem?" the politician asks.

"The second problem," the villager continues, "is that we can't get any phone signal anywhere in the village."

[cambrensis]

Social Distancing and Infant Baptism:

[Mandart]

And still with food.....

[cambrensis]

Absolutely brilliant, Mandart! I'm still grinning at the thought...