Clean Humor Thread

[Oldandintheway]

A traveling salesman pulls up to an old farmhouse, where he sees an ole gentleman sitting on the porch, silently rocking.
A large dog is lying in the yard.
The salesman rolls his window down and hollers, WILL YOUR DOG BITE?
NOPE, says the ole farmer.
The salesman gets out, and the dog jumps him.
After quite a tussle, the salesman finally makes it back to his car. I THOUGHT YOUR DOG WOULDN’T BITE.
The ole farmer says, AIN’T MY DOG.

[Anniemcc2]

[Oldandintheway]

[Oldandintheway]

This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas but there are more Catholic churches than casinos in Vegas.
Not surprisingly, some worshippers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed.

Since they get chips from many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to collect the offerings.
The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in.

This is all done by the chip monks.

[meebo1]

groan

[Oldandintheway]

[meebo1]

looks comfortable - kind of

[Oldandintheway]

Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses.
The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California.

This, of course, is the origin of the expression

"He who has a Tate's is lost!"

[Oldandintheway]

[Oldandintheway]

A reporter from the local newspaper was interviewing a 103-year-old great-grandmother during her birthday celebration.

“And what do you think is the best thing about being 103?” the reporter asked.

“No peer pressure,” replied the birthday girl.