Clean Humor Thread

[Oldandintheway]

[Oldandintheway]

A prisoner in jail received a letter from his wife: “I have decided to plant some vegetables in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?”

The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied: “Dear wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money.”

A week or so later, he received another letter from his
wife: “You won’t believe what happened. Some men came to the house with shovels and dug up all the dirt in the back garden.”

The prisoner wrote back: “Now is a good time to plant the vegetables.”

[meebo1]

Although I have heard this before, it still made me laugh

[Oldandintheway]

Although I have heard this before, it still made me laugh

An oldie but a goodie for sure Meebs. - SO, here's some more!

[Oldandintheway]

"Someone? - walks into a bar"

A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar. The bartender eyes them and says "Well...I guess you can stay. But don't start anything. "

A drunk mistakenly walks into the pet shop next door to the bar, points to the turtles and says, "I'll have another one of those meat pies, but not so crusty this time..."

A weasel walks into a bar.

"Wow!" says the bartender. "In all my years tending bar, I've never had a weasel stop in. What can I get you?"

"Pop" goes the weasel.

A sub-atomic particle walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him with suspicion and says " Hey, no electrons in here. Scram"

The particle says "Hey, I'm not an electron"

The bartender says " You sure look like one. Are you sure you're not an electron?"

The particle says "I'm positive!"

Bigfoot walks into a bar. "I'll have a beer", he says.
The bartender, thinking that this big stupid animal can't count says, "Yes sir, that will be $50."
He pays the barman and gets his drink.
While he's sipping it down a saloon girl comes over to him.
"So it's true, you guys do exist after all. How come we never see Bigfeet here?"
"At fifty bucks a pint I'm not surprised," he says.

[Oldandintheway]

[Oldandintheway]

Sadly True!

[Oldandintheway]

[Oldandintheway]

A General noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly.

The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That’s not it,” and put it down again.

This went on for some time, until the General arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested.

The psychologist concluded the soldier was deranged and wrote out his discharge from the army.

The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: “Yes! That’s it!”

[Oldandintheway]