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Re: Clean Humor Thread
Re: Clean Humor Thread
Re: Clean Humor Thread
Re: Clean Humor Thread
Well, I'm at A&E 😣
Today was not a good day.
I decided to go horse riding today as I haven't been for a while. It turned out to be a big mistake!!! I got on the horse and it started out slowly, then it started to speed up; before I knew it, we were going as fast as the horse can go. I couldn't take the pace and fell off, but caught my foot in the stirrup with the horse dragging me. It wouldn't stop! Finally the manager of Toys-R-Us came out and unplugged the machine. Yet he had the nerve to take the rest of my change so I wouldn't attempt to ride the elephant. How many of you actually read what I wrote? If you did copy and paste for someone else to get a laugh! Merry Christmas happy people
Re: Clean Humor Thread
I have read it and am smiling (or maybe it is a grin)
Re: Clean Humor Thread
Oh I hate it when that happens!Originally Posted by sandrafirebird
Re: Clean Humor Thread
An old penny pincher had no friends. Just before he died he asked his doctor, lawyer, and pastor to gather around him at bedside.
“I have always heard that you can’t take it with you. But I want to disprove that theory,” he said. “I have $90,000 under my mattress, and when I die, just before they throw the dirt on me at my burial, I want you each to toss in an envelope with $30,000 within.”
The three attended the funeral and each threw his envelope in the grave. On the way back from the cemetery, the pastor said, “I must confess. I needed $10,000 for my new church, so I only threw in $20,000.”
The doctor then said, “I must confess too. I needed $20,000 for a new hospital I was opening up, so I only threw in $10,000.”
The lawyer looked at them both and shook his head. He then said, “Gentlemen, I’m surprised, shocked, and ashamed of you. I don’t see how you could dare to go against that man’s final wish. I mean, I threw in my personal check for the full amount”
Re: Clean Humor Thread
For my musical friends!
Re: Clean Humor Thread
Another Blonde joke!
80,000 blondes meet in a football stadium for a “Blondes Are Not Stupid” Convention. The leader says, “We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?”
A blonde carefully works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.
The leader asks her, “What is 15 plus 15?”
After 15 or 20 seconds she says, “Eighteen!”
Obviously, everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blondes start cheering, “Give her another chance! Give her another chance!”
The leader says, “Well since we’ve gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, uh, I guess we can give her another chance.”
So he asks, “What is 5 plus 5?”
After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, “Ninety?”
The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh. Everyone is disheartened – the blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, “GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!”
The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than good, eventually says, “OK! OK! Just one more chance – what is 2 plus 2?”
The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, “Four?”
Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream.
“Give her another chance! Give her another chance!”
Re: Clean Humor Thread
Jeeves! fetch the snow plough
Oh the indignity of it all
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