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Thread: A Few Simple Home Remedies

  1. #1
    Forum Saint Fossy's Avatar
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    Default A Few Simple Home Remedies

    AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES


    1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.

    2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

    3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT - USE THE SINK.

    4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS - SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

    5... A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

    6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE TOO AFRAID TO COUGH.

    7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - 3-in1 OIL AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE 3-in1 OIL . IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

    8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.

    9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

    DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS
    Chris
    (The sex & drugs have gone, but the rock 'n roll lives on)

    Listen to Fossy on the Mojo Fingers Blues Show - Every weekday from 7 till 8pm

    If Harmonica players don't blow - they suck.




  2. #2
    Forum Saint ejean9's Avatar
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    had a good giggle at that one..

  3. #3
    Forum Saint Fossy's Avatar
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    Perhaps you should be a slinky and not a weegie........
    Chris
    (The sex & drugs have gone, but the rock 'n roll lives on)

    Listen to Fossy on the Mojo Fingers Blues Show - Every weekday from 7 till 8pm

    If Harmonica players don't blow - they suck.




  4. #4
    Forum Saint ejean9's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fossy7 View Post
    Perhaps you should be a slinky and not a weegie........
    are you implying it would be funny to push me down the stairs ???

  5. #5

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    I like number 9 I use a big hammer on everything.

  6. #6
    Forum Saint Fossy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mcblob View Post
    well it would, watching you tumble down, maybe you will hit your head speak normally afterwards
    ...... quickly gets in queue to wait for Jean to appear at the top of the stairs.
    Chris
    (The sex & drugs have gone, but the rock 'n roll lives on)

    Listen to Fossy on the Mojo Fingers Blues Show - Every weekday from 7 till 8pm

    If Harmonica players don't blow - they suck.




  7. #7
    Forum Saint ejean9's Avatar
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    well Mcblob and Fossy...watch out...cos one of these days i may be BEHIND YOU...

  8. #8
    Forum Saint Fossy's Avatar
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    Hee Hee. You'll be for it now.
    Chris
    (The sex & drugs have gone, but the rock 'n roll lives on)

    Listen to Fossy on the Mojo Fingers Blues Show - Every weekday from 7 till 8pm

    If Harmonica players don't blow - they suck.




  9. #9
    Forum Saint ejean9's Avatar
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    why Mcblob..is that you at the bottom of the stairs ??...i will get you back .....

  10. #10
    Forum Saint ejean9's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mcblob View Post
    some idiot pushed me, they said something in some strange dialect before pushing me
    awa tats doonrigt nasty me mucker

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