I have upset my neighbours - advice please?

[Huddylion]

Those conifers are a nightmare I planted some when I moved into a brand neew house once ,just 12 inches tall they were,but boy do they grow, they were a nightmare had them all cut down when they grew to 12ft in no time at all, cost me a bomb and ruined my grass,never ever again.

[Bitsofthis]

Our current neighbours are a nightmare for throwing their weeds into our garden. Anything they dont want/need is thrown in.

Hubby accidentally put some grass on their new stones with the strimmer, honestly was an accident. The woman went mad!!

Around here they are the only ones we dont like, the rest are lovely. No probs here, its mostly elderly people and are so nice.

[deltadelta48]

I agree with what everyone has been suggesting. And I had trouble with a neightbor concerning the garden too.

My neighbors were new to neighborhood with 3 teenage children and an extremely small house (all of us have much larger, 4 bedrooms versus his 2) . They are super fussy and weed several times a day, water 4 times a day, wash their landscape stone off every few days, prune once a week etc. Which causes a high death rate amongst the plants, but after 5 years you would think they would add 2 + 2.

But somehow these two decided that I was not neat enough with my yard and began reporting me to the city for filth, etc. Inspectors would come, nothing here, my house passed and then they would do it again. Then their kids started throwing stones, fireworks etc.They had a dog that barked for hours when left alone, yet mine were turned into the city for noise. The city inspector suggested I discuss this matter with the police because, he was a police officer who was filing false reports with the city!!!!!!

I documented all my concerns in a letter, which I sent registered mail to this family and told them to stop, they were noisy, I was noisy, they could run their landscaping as they saw fit, I did not have the time to devote to pleasing them etc. He came over to my door, exploded, with screaming, I was a liar, etc. and the matter was quiet for a while.

Then I started to get vandalism to my plants/flowers, etc. My dogs were hit in the face with their waterhose, stones, etc.

Finally this guy went off the deep end emotionally when my dog barked at him when he was in his yard, and when I went to take her in, he started to scream at me that God was going to kill me! He repeated it 20 times.

I immediately went to the police stations, filed a report and they informed me he was no longer a cop (quit or was made to quit for mental problems a year before, he was unemployed as was the wife) and they went to his home to discuss the matter with him (my harrassment not his mental problems). That did the trick, and family is quiet now.

However, funny, he tried to get rehired by the police department and guess who got interviewed by the police as a reference? Me, the sloppy neightbor. In good faith I could not recommend they hire him and( in US) give him a big gun and a nightstick. he is still unemployed.

I can not stress more that you must document your problems in a letter and send to this family and see how they react. if he apologizes, great (this guy was not that smart). If he rants and raves then file with the police department telling them you are frightened, alone during day, etc, and do not want trouble over something as silly as a bush. In my case the police used a copy of my letter and the reports from the city inspector to eliminate hiring him again for dishonesty, mental instability, etc.

You did not go anything but improve your yard. He would not handle that, he could not handle his temper, his mouth, or his actions. Do not put up with it and let the police handle talking to him every time he starts having a temper tantrum. If he is smart he will stop, if not it is all documented with the police.

A good neighbor would have volunteered to help you trim, etc, as your other neighbors did. He is not a good neighbor.

[TiasTreasures]

I had a slightly similar problem at an HOA I lived in. We had a car wash area in the basement, very clearly marked "NO PARKING". There was a car parked there, had no clue who it belonged to. There was enough room for me to get mine in alongside it, so I washed my car. In the process some water splashed on the other one. I didn't worry about it, it was parked in the car wash area, after all.

A couple of hours later, the husband knocked on my door and started screaming at me for getting his car wet. I have no idea how he knew I was the one who had done it, didn't matter. I let him rant for about five minutes, and when he finally stopped I told him if he had any complaints take them to the Board of Directors, now that I could identify his car I would report it if he ever parked there again, and if he ever shouted at me again I would call the police. I think that's the only way to handle bullies, don't shout back, but don't back off either. He never bothered me again, and he never parked in the car wash again either.

[diggerman]

This is why we are thankful we don't have neighbours. We live in the country with no close nighbours either side. I should just ignore it. Eventually it should blow over.

http://uk.ebid.net/stores/slouchiehats-hat-shop

[deltadelta48]

This is why we are thankful we don't have neighbours. We live in the country with no close nighbours either side. I should just ignore it. Eventually it should blow over.

http://uk.ebid.net/stores/slouchiehats-hat-shop

I agree but in this day and age it is scary that there are lots of crazy people out there. Best to ignore, but if it gets worse, you have to document and if necessary, get the police involved.

Vital if you take them to court to have something on paper too.

[lilacretriever]

Hi all
sorry to hear of some of the awful neighbours out there!
I fully agree with all that's been said-so sad that some people have nothing better to do.
Without totally boring everyone- I really do understand the situation you are in- I've had trouble with my neighbour for years & it's still ongoing. It has involved bullying, aggression, harrassment, police, citizens advice bureau, solicitors & surveyors on our side, even being unsuccessfully sued. My neighbour lost his case & still continues to be difficult (putting it mildly!!!!!!!). It has caused immeasurable stress & costs.
I learnt a lot from my situation-so hopefully it can do some good & help by sharing my experience.

I'm not sure if this has been considered or done, so sorry if it has - but have you confirmed legally the ownership & responsibilities of the said boundary & hedge (in our case it was a boundary, wall & fence)?

Over the years of trouble I have discovered that a lot of responsibilities are assumed & hostorical rather than legally accurate. This has been one major issue in our situation - our neighbour is a long term resident & thinks that gives him 'the knowledge'. We obtained the correct information from title deeds, land registry, solicitor & chartered surveyor (both specialists in land issues). It also appears that many other neighbours(all lovely people) all have different opinions on the situation & have learnt a lot from our experience.
Sorry again if this has been considered.
Hope things are settling

Regards, Diane

[moonwitch]

Hi all
sorry to hear of some of the awful neighbours out there!
I fully agree with all that's been said-so sad that some people have nothing better to do.
Without totally boring everyone- I really do understand the situation you are in- I've had trouble with my neighbour for years & it's still ongoing. It has involved bullying, aggression, harrassment, police, citizens advice bureau, solicitors & surveyors on our side, even being unsuccessfully sued. My neighbour lost his case & still continues to be difficult (putting it mildly!!!!!!!). It has caused immeasurable stress & costs.
I learnt a lot from my situation-so hopefully it can do some good & help by sharing my experience.

I'm not sure if this has been considered or done, so sorry if it has - but have you confirmed legally the ownership & responsibilities of the said boundary & hedge (in our case it was a boundary, wall & fence)?

Over the years of trouble I have discovered that a lot of responsibilities are assumed & hostorical rather than legally accurate. This has been one major issue in our situation - our neighbour is a long term resident & thinks that gives him 'the knowledge'. We obtained the correct information from title deeds, land registry, solicitor & chartered surveyor (both specialists in land issues). It also appears that many other neighbours(all lovely people) all have different opinions on the situation & have learnt a lot from our experience.
Sorry again if this has been considered.
Hope things are settling

Regards, Diane

I wouldn't worry...this thread is a couple of years old and allm the dodgy neighbours have probably moved house

[lilacretriever]

So daft of me!
thanks for that. New to the site & been reading through the topics in the forum-didn't even notice the date!

[luvintage]

O.K.-here's a way out idea! What if you calmly went over and said something like, "look, we are neighbors and we have to live next door to each other. We don't have to be best friends-we don't even have to really like each other- but we have to co-exist. What can we do to work this out?".

I only suggest this because we have one of those across the street. The guy he is picking on used the above approach-it didn't work but it was worth a try. And, I thought, really a civil way to handle the matter.

So happens the new guy is a firefighter and has a legion of connections. Now everytime the bad neighbor even looks like he's gonna cause trouble a city inspector shows up at his door. The guy has so many fines he'll be broke a very long time. Not a matter of revenge on the firefighter's part-but a matter of survival. The bad neighbor really did a lot of awful things.

But, this guy is extreme. The civil approach may work. Could be worth a shot?