I have upset my neighbours - advice please?
This a bit long so dont bother reading if you dont want to but opinions would be well received.
I live in a lovely culdesac of 12 houses in a large village. We have been here two years, from London and made some lovely friends (not just from our road either) I have my closest friend three doors down and two other close friends in the culdesac. There are 6 other households I would be able to call upon in an emergency too. We all get on really well - its lovely. Two households keep themselves to themselves, one next to my close friend (dont think I have ever really laid eyes on them even) the others live next door to me.
The people next door to us are the type of people who light a barbie without letting neighbours with washing out know beforehand (sorry if you are one of those but its one of my pet hates) I did start just calling over the fence "Colin did you know I had my washing out" and all he replies very rudely is "so?" or "didnt know where you were to tell you" I would then politely ask "Please could you let me know next time"
My close friend was amazed how loud their yelling was when she babysat one night. I guess we must be used to it as it doesnt bother me and I yell sometimes myself anyway (I am in awe of parents who mange not to). Their son is also constantly knocking on my friend and I's doors asking to play with our kids which we dont mind even when it stretches to a snack but the one time a child knocked on their door the kid got such a telling off for disturbing them some parents have banned his son from their houses.
Anyway, last summer I knocked on their door to ask if I could tidy up the hedge that borders our front garden. He was very rude and just said "You can cut it down for all I care" Well I didnt want to do that - it is only 3 foot high but it does give a good border between the gardens. I was hoping some tlc would tidy it up a bit as its clear that its not been looked after at all and as it is a mix of deciduous and evergreen it looks worse in winter. I gave it a good haircut but one shrub did look very unwell. I gave it a good feed too and crossed my fingers. On Wednesday, talking to one of the neighbours, who helps me do my garden, he pointed out it should be one of the priorities to sort out the hedge as it was looking worse than ever - as if my huge garden doesnt give me enough to do - lol!!!
I went and spent £30 on some slow growing conifers and some similar evergreen shrubs to what was there already and some spring bedding too. I started to trim the hedge but it became apparant when I leant on the dead looking shrub and nearly fell over that it was a gonner. It was over my side so I decided to pension it off and a few tugs later it was nearly free. I got the man accross the road to help with the final pull as it wouldnt be sensible to overexert myself in my condition. The two shrubs either side then needed a good prune as they had been growing up through the middle and were very leggy. I gave them a hard prune by about 2/3rds which will give them a whiole new lease of life. The other main shrub I shaved with the shears to bring it into line with the side they had done. (If I was trimming a border shrub I would always do the whole thing as a matter of courtesy - wont now though) Once I had planted everything it looked lovely - I was really pleased and was hoping Kim would like it too.
When she saw she said "I think Colin wanted the shrubs keeping for the privacy so he may want to put something back there thats higher" I said thats fine as I had kept the planting myside to make prunning easier for me. She didnt look too pleased though and I felt awful. I rang my friend down the road and was just telling her when Colin came storming up to our front door. To say he was furious was an understatement. To my disgust though he started shouting at me in front of my kids. I couldnt get a word in edgeways and he stormed off. My friend said I was very calm (as she had heard everything from the other end of the phone) but I didnt feel it.
Five minutes later, I was taking dd dancing and was just going out to the car when my dh pulled up, about to reverse into our drive. Before he could even change gear Colin was up at his drivers window shouting the odds at poor hubbie who hadnt a clue what he was ranting on about. I asked Colin to come and talk to me as hubbie wasnt involved in my efforts and had just driven a long way. Then I had both of them shouting at me whilst kids had escaped and were running riot. In the end after my explanations fell on deaf ears and they denied ever giving me permission to cut everything (which I certainly hadnt done) down, I offered to replace the dead shrub. She just ignored my offer and carried on shouting at me. I told her I wasnt going to even try to make amends if she carried on shouting at me and she replied "we will take it further then" I replied "Oh sue me then" She said "it isnt wise to say that to a sister of a lawyer" - always bent people that threaten such things isnt it! - LOL!!
Anyway I know I am not in the wrong but I cant help feeling very unsettled. I hate confrontation and would never have done what I did if I had known what trouble it would get me into. Mind you I would then have to look out of my window onto an unsightly dead hedge and unloved garden.
Tammy
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