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Thread: Clean Humor Thread

  1. #61
    Forum Diehard RatDog's Avatar
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    Default Re: Clean Humor Thread

    Chocolate

    A good piece of chocolate has about 200 calories.
    As I enjoy 2 servings per night, and a few more on
    weekends, I consume about 3,500 calories of chocolate
    in a week, which equals one pound of weight per week.

    Therefore, in the last 3-1/2 years, I have had chocolate
    caloric intake of about 180 pounds, and I only weigh 165
    pounds.

    So... without chocolate, I would have wasted away
    to nothing about 3 months ago!

    I owe my life to chocolate!

  2. #62
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    Default Re: Clean Humor Thread

    Now I must make my own calculations....

  3. #63

    Default Re: Clean Humor Thread

    Maybe thats why my wife has me on a diet trying to get rid of me through natural wastage, goodbye diet.

  4. #64
    Forum Diehard RatDog's Avatar
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    Default Re: Clean Humor Thread

    " I just checked the health/weight chart at the gym

    and it turns out that I'm four inches too short ."

  5. #65
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    Default Re: Clean Humor Thread

    Everything I need to know I learnt from a cow

    Wake up in a happy mooo-d.

    Don't cry over spilled milk.

    When chewing your cud, remember: There's no fat, no calories, no cholesterol, and no taste!

    The grass is green on the other side of the fence.

    Turn the udder cheek and mooo-ve on.

    Seize every opportunity and milk it for all its worth!

    It's better to be seen and not herd.

    Honor thy fodder and thy mother and all your udder relatives.

    Never take any bull from anybody.

    Always let them know who's the bossy.

    Stepping on cowpies brings good luck.

    Black and white is always an appropriate fashion statement.

    Don't forget to cow-nt your blessings every day.

  6. #66
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    Default Re: Clean Humor Thread

    The two partners in a law firm were having lunch when
    suddenly one of them jumped up and said, "I have to go
    back to the office - I forgot to lock the safe!"

    The other partner replied, "What are you worried about?
    We're both here."

  7. #67
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    Default Re: Clean Humor Thread

    Not-Too-Swift
    I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00.
    I said "May I have large bills, please?"
    She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same
    size."

  8. #68
    Forum Saint sucadot's Avatar
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    Default Re: Clean Humor Thread

    A man walked into a bar carrying a chequered flag.

    "I hope you're not going to start anything in here," warned the barman.
    [SIGPIC]
    view my listings here





  9. #69
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    Default Re: Clean Humor Thread

    What a nasty trick - BUT I love it.



  10. #70
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    Default Re: Clean Humor Thread

    That Was Great ! Love it !

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