Clean Humor Thread

[Oldandintheway]

[Oldandintheway]

A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called his client.

"Saul, I have some good news, and I have some bad news."

The art collector replied, "I've had an awful day. Give me the good news first."

The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she just invested $5,000 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15 million to $20 million, and I think she could be right."

Saul replied enthusiastically, "Well done! My wife is a brilliant businesswoman! You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"

The lawyer replied, "The pictures are of you and your secretary.”

[Oldandintheway]

[Oldandintheway]

[Oldandintheway]

[Oldandintheway]

[Oldandintheway]

[Oldandintheway]

Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives.
When it's clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day. One day
Mike says, "Joe, we both loved rugby all our lives, and we played rugby
on Saturdays together for so many years. Please do me one favour, when
you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's rugby there."

Joe looks up at Mike from his death bed," Mike, you've been my best
friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favour for you.

Shortly after that, Joe passes on.
At midnight a couple of nights later,
Mike is awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light
and a voice calling out to him, "Mike--Mike."
"Who is it? asks Mike sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"
"Mike--it's me, Joe."
"You're not Joe. Joe just died."
"I'm telling you, it's me, Joe," insists the voice."

"Joe! Where are you?"
"In heaven", replies Joe. "I have some really good news and a little bad news."
"Tell me the good news first," says Mike.

"The good news," Joe says," is that there's rugby in heaven.
Better yet all our old friends are here.
Better than that, we're all young again.
Better still, it's always spring time and it never rains or snows.
And best of all, we can play rugby all we want, and we never get tired."

That's fantastic," says Mike. "It's beyond my wildest dreams!
So what's the bad news
"You're in the team for this Saturday."

[Oldandintheway]

[Oldandintheway]