Home
Buy on eBid
Sell on eBid
eBid Stores
My eBid
Upgrade to Seller+ Lifetime
eBid Help
Close
Login to Your Account
eBid Community Forums - Chat & find help from others in the eBid Community
Page 100 of 200 FirstFirst ... 5090919293949596979899100101102103104105106107108109110150 ... LastLast
Results 991 to 1,000 of 1994

Thread: Clean Humor Thread

  1. #991
    Forum Saint sucadot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Cleveleys, Lancashire, United Kingdom
    View sucadot's Feedback (+845)
    All-About sucadot
    View sucadot's Listings
    Forum Posts
    4,330

    Default Re: Clean Humor Thread

    Dumb questions real lawyers asked in court -

    “How many times have you committed suicide?”

    “Were you alone or by yourself?”

    “Was it you or your brother who was killed?”

    “Without saying anything, tell the jury what you did next.”

    “Was that the same nose you broke as a child?”

    “Now, doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?”
    [SIGPIC]
    view my listings here





  2. #992
    Forum Saint
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Woolmar, Queensland, Australia
    View Oldandintheway's Feedback (+385)
    All-About Oldandintheway
    View Oldandintheway's Listings
    Forum Posts
    3,336

    Default Re: Clean Humor Thread

    Name:  image004a.jpg
Views: 119
Size:  45.7 KB

  3. #993
    Forum Saint
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Woolmar, Queensland, Australia
    View Oldandintheway's Feedback (+385)
    All-About Oldandintheway
    View Oldandintheway's Listings
    Forum Posts
    3,336

    Default Re: Clean Humor Thread

    A brunette walked into a room and saw her blonde friend whooping and hollering.

    “What’s the matter?” The brunette inquired.

    “Nothing at all. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!” The blonde beamed.

    “How long did it take you?”

    “Well, the box said ‘3 to 5 Years’ but I did it in a month!”

  4. #994

    Default Re: Clean Humor Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Oldandintheway View Post
    A brunette walked into a room and saw her blonde friend whooping and hollering.
    “What’s the matter?” The brunette inquired.
    “Nothing at all. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!” The blonde beamed.
    “How long did it take you?”
    “Well, the box said ‘3 to 5 Years’ but I did it in a month!”
    OH, MY!!! You must have dug deep to get that one! I thought (hoped) Blonde jokes had died out - my oldest made it a point to come home from school every day with at least one new blonde joke! He even had me paged over the intercom in Wal-Mart one time as "Blondie P....." But, I have to admit that I miss those days of fun with my boys - thanks for the memories!!

  5. #995
    Forum Saint sucadot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Cleveleys, Lancashire, United Kingdom
    View sucadot's Feedback (+845)
    All-About sucadot
    View sucadot's Listings
    Forum Posts
    4,330

    Default Re: Clean Humor Thread

    A man left for work one Friday afternoon. Instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spending all his wages.

    When he finally got home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his very angry wife.

    After two hours, she stopped nagging and said: 'How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?' He replied: 'That would be fine with me.'

    Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.

    Thursday, the swelling went down just enough for him to see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.



    [SIGPIC]
    view my listings here





  6. #996
    Forum Saint sucadot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Cleveleys, Lancashire, United Kingdom
    View sucadot's Feedback (+845)
    All-About sucadot
    View sucadot's Listings
    Forum Posts
    4,330

    Default Re: Clean Humor Thread

    A penguin walks into a shop and asks the assistant: 'Do you have any grapes?' 'No,' he replies.

    The same thing happens the next day and on the third day the assistant replies: 'No, and if you come in asking for grapes again I will nail your flippers to the floor!'

    Next day the penguin walks in and asks: 'Got any nails?' 'No,' replies the assistant. 'Got any grapes?' the penguin asks.
    [SIGPIC]
    view my listings here





  7. #997
    Forum Saint
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Woolmar, Queensland, Australia
    View Oldandintheway's Feedback (+385)
    All-About Oldandintheway
    View Oldandintheway's Listings
    Forum Posts
    3,336

    Default Re: Clean Humor Thread

    Name:  image007a.jpg
Views: 66
Size:  20.0 KB

  8. #998
    Forum Saint sucadot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Cleveleys, Lancashire, United Kingdom
    View sucadot's Feedback (+845)
    All-About sucadot
    View sucadot's Listings
    Forum Posts
    4,330

    Default Re: Clean Humor Thread

    A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
    As he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their orders.
    The man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"
    "I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
    A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $6.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

    The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and the ostrich says, "I'll have the same."
    Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
    This becomes a routine until late one evening, the two enter again.
    "The usual?" asks the waitress. "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and salad," says the man, "same for me," says the ostrich.
    A short time later the waitress comes with the order and says, "That will be $12.62."Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

    The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer.
    "Excuse me, sir.How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"
    "Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."
    "That's brilliant!"says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"
    "That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

    The waitress asks, "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich?"
    The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."
    [SIGPIC]
    view my listings here





  9. #999
    Forum Saint
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Woolmar, Queensland, Australia
    View Oldandintheway's Feedback (+385)
    All-About Oldandintheway
    View Oldandintheway's Listings
    Forum Posts
    3,336

    Default Re: Clean Humor Thread

    Name:  828_F815D82028D842F38CFC9741EF3C6B40_1.jpg
Views: 50
Size:  58.4 KB

  10. #1000
    Forum Saint
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Woolmar, Queensland, Australia
    View Oldandintheway's Feedback (+385)
    All-About Oldandintheway
    View Oldandintheway's Listings
    Forum Posts
    3,336

    Default Re: Clean Humor Thread

    Name:  funny-1-2.JPG
Views: 116
Size:  25.3 KB

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 2 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 2 guests)

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Follow Us
New To eBid?
Register for Free