sensitive subject may upset

[cazpro77]

right may i just say this may upset or be sensitive to some
i am not flaming here please belive that
im about to share something extremlly painful to you so please bear that in mind before repliying



hi newish here this topic intrests me a great deal

my partner and i recentlly lost our baby i was 25 weeks pregant started bleeding extremlly heavlly and went into prem labour he died as he was born stillborn this happened in april this year and we hurt so much still, i almost died as well had to have a blood transfusion etc etc..
anyway my questions are
1. why do my spritilst friends say this happened for a reason ?
what reason ie what spiritall reason ?
2. these friends say what goes around comes around? have i done something awful in my past that i desvred this?
im sure i havent , not brought this amount of hurt on anyone i have never wished ill or harm on anyone even those i dont get on with ?
my dad is a healer and he said must have been somthing wrong natures way etc and that our son is now looking after us in spirit
i have posted and said that people say i no things before they happen i kinda dreamt hes stillbirth but didnt think any off my nightmare at the time,

as i said very sensitive post sorry if i upset anyone just wondered thats all
take the very best of care caz

[Anichka54]

right may i just say this may upset or be sensitive to some
i am not flaming here please belive that
im about to share something extremlly painful to you so please bear that in mind before repliying



hi newish here this topic intrests me a great deal

my partner and i recentlly lost our baby i was 25 weeks pregant started bleeding extremlly heavlly and went into prem labour he died as he was born stillborn this happened in april this year and we hurt so much still, i almost died as well had to have a blood transfusion etc etc..
anyway my questions are
1. why do my spritilst friends say this happened for a reason ?
what reason ie what spiritall reason ?
2. these friends say what goes around comes around? have i done something awful in my past that i desvred this?
im sure i havent , not brought this amount of hurt on anyone i have never wished ill or harm on anyone even those i dont get on with ?
my dad is a healer and he said must have been somthing wrong natures way etc and that our son is now looking after us in spirit
i have posted and said that people say i no things before they happen i kinda dreamt hes stillbirth but didnt think any off my nightmare at the time,

as i said very sensitive post sorry if i upset anyone just wondered thats all
take the very best of care caz

Hi,

I'm sorry to hear that, how awful for you, i wish you all the best for the future.

Have you asked your friends what they meant? maybe they were thinking about past incarnations, many people believe that what we do in this life can affect future lives, i think this is what they meant.
It is also believed by many that when babies die it is because for some reason a previous life was cut short & they must complete that time before starting on their next life.

[IckleFeet]

Hi Caz, Firstly I want to say I am sorry about your loss. I can't imagine how you are feeling.
After reading your posting I felt so strongly about replying. I believe your friends are being insensitive and not fully explained what they mean! I know its difficult because you want answers but time does help.

May I suggest you read some of Doris Stokes books. You or your Dad probably know more about Doris than me but after reading her books - it helped with my grieving and coming to terms with my loss. The books give me comfort when no one else could.

[rajah]

hi caz i sorry to hear about your loss, but get one thing straight it wasnt your fault, and nothing you did wrong, sometimes a soul just wants to touch the earth and go back home, they come just for the experience of being in the womb because that is all they wanted, it is the souls choice,
and may i stress you did nothing wrong, if you need any questions answered i will pleased to help, i am a spiritualist and a healer and i will answer to the best that i can. just leave your question on the forum,

[BridalStudio]

I am so sad for you and it will help you to talk about it even if it is on the forum...

I really don't think that anyone knows why these dreadful traumatic things happen. perhaps to test our strength in life.

My advice is to look forward now, as I am sure this loss will help you build a stronger relationship with your partner.

[AutumnMoon]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. ((((HUGS))))

I believe that each soul has a purpose in each incarnation - your little one may have needed to have been born sleeping in order to help other souls pass over and be there to guide and help them on the other side. As a PP said, it may have been the soul's choice to simply experience being in the womb without being born.

[CrowlasCrafts]

Hi Caz

I just wanted to say that although that it is a very sensitive subject - it is good to talk. I lost 2 babies early on and I was amazed at how many of my friends opened up and told me it had happened to them. This helped me feel that I wasn't alone in my grief.

It definitely is not anything that you have done!

Many are thinking of you at this time.

[sweetbriaruk]

Hello
I too am sorry for your loss,I lost a baby early on ,while I was in hospital afterwards some one told me it was gods way of telling me not to have any more children ,,I had another baby later who has grwon up healthy and turned out to be a great blessing to everyone ,though I didnt know that at the time and was heartbroken for a long time ,,the main hurt is that people dont seem to realise that a lost baby is mourned by its mother as a person ,, Because it was never around for other people to see and hold they forget that to us ,he or she was a real and living part of us ,I think thats why people are not always very sensitive about their comments ,,they only see our illness not loss ,wereas the bodily sickness is only a tiny part of the tragedy.No one can undertsand unless they have gone through this.
I have a disabilty ,only mild and had lots of people tell me it was somehow my fault (though I was born this way)I think thats the reason you got that answer ,,they see the physical pain to you and look on this as only to do with you.
yet thats not the real issue ,theres two people involved , a dead child and a living mother Why would god or fate or whatever punish a child for what his mother or grandfather did? ,,,we wouldnt do it ,it would seem monstrouse ,,so why would fate or god...
People sometimes feel the need to say stuff because of how they feel not to make you feel better,,not on purpose (usualy )but tragedys upset people and esp spiritual people ,,I am a christian and I know that some other belivers cant handle me not getting healed of my disabilty. So they make up reasons for it ,and their comments about it being my fault ot some other persons are really nothing to do with me .Its so they dont have to re asses their own belifes . yet they do sincerly want to help ,so try to say something useful.
I have never found a reason for many of the problems I have had ,In this case ,I can now years later only take comfort from knowing my child is with God and waiting for me when I get to heaven ,also that all the worries and horrors of this world have been spared her ,she went from my care to gods with no harsh cold world between ,,its cold comfort I know ,,when bad stuff happens I dont try to find reasons now I just say to myself "This too will pass ,this too will pass "
, just after or during a tragedy we need space and peace ,,I prefer to rant at god or ask god for solutions ,,he may not answer but he never brings me down even further ,Even if you dont belive in the same god as myself ,I hope sincerly this helps

[sweetbriaruk]

Hello again,
I am sorry I am new to ebid and only jusy saw how old this thread is ,but as I also see its just over the one year anniversary of your loss ,, which I found very hard as everyone else had forgotton except me and my husband ,,perhaps its still a little bit helpful

[penny291]

I lost my third baby, miscarriage had a very bad time and nearly died, so very traumatic I never had another child, but i have never forgotton the one i lost, when i asked what sex it was they said they could not tell as the child had broken up inside me, I was nearly five months and i just do not believe they could not tell, they were very insensitive. About four years later I dreamed, I think it was a dream, seemed real, that a young fair haired boy was beside my bed smiling and watching me, I have given this boy a name and it may sound stupid to some but it gives me comfort to be able to talk to my lost child and tell him he would have been loved. am crying now so will not go on