you can do what you want elaine - you dont have to think long and hard about anything - you do what you do and what yourself tells you to do - no right or wrong here lol - im just trying to get to grips with some of this cr@p and all its ramifications in my own small usually uninformed mind (though my instincts inform me what is bloody right and wrong) so that i know if there is any real danger ahead - and yes for us and our kids - or if its nothing different to whats happened in the past - disputes arguments violence but nothing to warrant a frightening doom and gloom end of the world scary scenario that we have never seen before - at the moment i am positive that things will go good - they have to otherwise...well....dot dot dot..........lol